Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...

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As I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. But pissing everyone...

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Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

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I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

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Friends joke with one another. Hey, you're poor. Hey, your momma's dead. That's what friends...

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The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that...

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There is a reason it's called "Girls gone wild" and NOT "Women gone wild". When...

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Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.

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The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

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Only 3 types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk and the angry.

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I'm great in bed I can sleep for days.

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You know someone is your true friend if you tell a secret and the next...

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All I want for Christmas is Money.

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Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.

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Don't have sex, cause you will get pregnant and die.

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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in...

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If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If...

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