Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
Quote by George Carlin
The status quo sucks.
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...
I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said...
The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that...
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it
No one ever lacks a good reason for suicide.
Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed,...
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.