Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Humanity Quotes

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Think off-center.

Think off-center.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

Always do whatever's next.

Always do whatever's next.

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I grew up to always respect authority and respect those in charge.

I grew up to always respect authority and respect those in charge.

The accidental prescriptions of authority, when time has procured them veneration, are often confounded with...

The accidental prescriptions of authority, when time has procured them veneration, are often confounded with...