Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Humanity Quotes

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Most of American life consists of driving somewhere and then returning home, wondering why the...

Most of American life consists of driving somewhere and then returning home, wondering why the...

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...

Andy: Look at our love fern! It's dead! Ben: No it's only sleeping.

Andy: Look at our love fern! It's dead! Ben: No it's only sleeping.

I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't...

I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't...