Quotes by George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

#Electricity, #Funny

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

#Funny

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

#Funny

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

#Funny

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

#Life

This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...

#Religion

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

#Funny, #Life

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

#Drink, #Funny

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

#Truth

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

#Smile

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

#Politics

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

#Money