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Electricity is really just organized lightning.

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Electricity is really just organized lightning.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

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The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...

This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...