Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a...
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
Life is just a bowl of pits.
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time...
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to...
At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He...
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...
Don't take the wrong side of an argument just because your opponent has taken the...
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...