Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

Topics: Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I...

One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I...

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her...

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her...

I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...

I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never...

Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never...

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's nobody...

A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's nobody...

What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how...

I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how...

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of...

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of...

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and...

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and...

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks...

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks...

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city