My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind...
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was...
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...
When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said...
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...
Life is just a bowl of pits.
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're...
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time...
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday...
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and...
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's...