If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball
Quote by George Carlin
This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called...
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
Religion is just mind control.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to...
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
Always do whatever's next.
I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...
Religion is just mind control
When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...
Reason and truth will prevail at last
Reason is like an open secret that can become known to anyone at any time;...