May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly...

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...

This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

Always do whatever's next.

Always do whatever's next.