I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Change Quotes, Funny Quotes

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Religion is just mind control.

Religion is just mind control.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

Fear & anxiety is based on not knowing whats next...Faith is based on knowing the...

Fear & anxiety is based on not knowing whats next...Faith is based on knowing the...

When faced with a mountain, I will not quit! I will keep striving until I...

When faced with a mountain, I will not quit! I will keep striving until I...