I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
Quote by George Carlin
George Carlin Quotes
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...
Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror
This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...
Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...
Tools of the trade
The merchant has no country