Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Trade Quotes

Always do whatever's next.

Always do whatever's next.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Think off-center.

Think off-center.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...

This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

A correct answer is like an affectionate kiss.

A correct answer is like an affectionate kiss.