Think off-center.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

The status quo sucks.

The status quo sucks.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

Politics has always been the art of the possible. Today it's too often the art...

Politics has always been the art of the possible. Today it's too often the art...

I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party...

I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party...

Liberals seem to assume that, if you don't believe in their particular political solutions, then...

Liberals seem to assume that, if you don't believe in their particular political solutions, then...