I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

Religion is just mind control

Religion is just mind control

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

Religion is just mind control.

Religion is just mind control.

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

One must beware of ministers who can do nothing without money, and those who want...

One must beware of ministers who can do nothing without money, and those who want...

It has always been difficult to get very close to the spirit of the Sistine...

It has always been difficult to get very close to the spirit of the Sistine...

Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your...

Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your...

The crisis that the world finds itself in as it swings on the hinge of...

The crisis that the world finds itself in as it swings on the hinge of...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...