I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
Quote by W C Fields
I like children - fried.
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...
There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I drink therefore I am.
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
I must have a drink of breakfast.
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.