I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
Quote by W C Fields
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...
I never met a kid I liked.
I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
I drink therefore I am.
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...
Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.
Older men declare war. But it is youth that must fight and die.
If you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten...