Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...