Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...