During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: Food Quotes

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out...

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out...