The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

I drink therefore I am.

I drink therefore I am.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs....

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs....

He who works his land will have abundant food, but the one who chases fantasies...

He who works his land will have abundant food, but the one who chases fantasies...