I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
Quote by W C Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...
I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for...
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
I drink therefore I am.
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...
I must have a drink of breakfast.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...
Never give a sucker an even break.
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
And if I drink oblivion of a day, So shorten I the stature of my...