I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: Funny Quotes, Random Quotes

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

My favorite animal is steak.

My favorite animal is steak.

One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is...

One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is...

Kill no more pigeons than you can eat.

Kill no more pigeons than you can eat.