Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

I drink therefore I am.

I drink therefore I am.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.