Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...