Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

I have strong feelings about gun control. If there's a gun around, I want to...

I have strong feelings about gun control. If there's a gun around, I want to...

Being a movie star, and this applies to all of them, means being looked at...

Being a movie star, and this applies to all of them, means being looked at...