Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never give a sucker an even break.

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...