I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Quote by Joan Rivers
Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds
I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.
I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...
You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to...
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...
She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Don't talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the...
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your...
It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
Every day of your life is a page of your history
History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid.
Black people don't have an accurate idea of their history, which has been either suppressed...