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She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

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She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

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I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

Never floss with a stranger.

Never floss with a stranger.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive...

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive...

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

He who limps is still walking.

He who limps is still walking.

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are...

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are...

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if...

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if...

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.