People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: Happiness Quotes

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your...

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your...

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is...

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is...

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are...

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are...

Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name...

Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name...

One little person, giving all of her time to peace, makes news. Many people, giving...

One little person, giving all of her time to peace, makes news. Many people, giving...