Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: Ageing Quotes, Valentines Day Quotes

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

Never floss with a stranger.

Never floss with a stranger.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive...

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if...

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if...

Remember happiness doesn't depend on who you are or what you have; it depends solely...

Remember happiness doesn't depend on who you are or what you have; it depends solely...

The greatest of follies is to sacrifice health for any other kind of happiness.

The greatest of follies is to sacrifice health for any other kind of happiness.

Happiness and misery depend not on how high up or low down you are -...

Happiness and misery depend not on how high up or low down you are -...