Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: Joan Rivers Quotes

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive...

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive...

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the...

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the...

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are...

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are...

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

Don't talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Don't talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.