You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: Being A Woman Quotes

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Age is not different from earlier life as long as youre sitting down.

Age is not different from earlier life as long as youre sitting down.

A sign of growing old is when interviewers start asking you,What would you do differently...

A sign of growing old is when interviewers start asking you,What would you do differently...

Valentines Day isn't a real holiday it's just for commercial purposes...coming from me who is...

Valentines Day isn't a real holiday it's just for commercial purposes...coming from me who is...