You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: Being A Woman Quotes

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if...

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if...

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your...

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your...

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

Weekend planning is a prime time to apply the Deathbed Priority Test: On your deathbed,...

Weekend planning is a prime time to apply the Deathbed Priority Test: On your deathbed,...

That sign of old age, extolling the past at the expense of the present.

That sign of old age, extolling the past at the expense of the present.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

I feel sexy when I get out of the tub - your skin is fresh...

I feel sexy when I get out of the tub - your skin is fresh...