You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: Being A Woman Quotes

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if...

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is...

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is...

Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the...

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

I wish women were like hockey...Only twenty minute periods.

I wish women were like hockey...Only twenty minute periods.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

I'm a one-man idiot.

I'm a one-man idiot.