I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Children Quotes, Mothers Quotes

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.