I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Children Quotes, Mothers Quotes

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

I really like to have sweet people around me. I can't stand bad asses. There's...

I really like to have sweet people around me. I can't stand bad asses. There's...

Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for...

Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for...

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Everyone probably thinks that I'm a raving nymphomaniac, that I have an insatiable sexual appetite,...

Everyone probably thinks that I'm a raving nymphomaniac, that I have an insatiable sexual appetite,...