I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Phyllis Diller Quotes

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Im for the dreamers. The only really important things in history have been started by...

Im for the dreamers. The only really important things in history have been started by...

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you...

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you...