My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Cooking Quotes

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

In the age of acorns, before the times of Ceres, a single barley-corn had been...

In the age of acorns, before the times of Ceres, a single barley-corn had been...

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do...

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do...