My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Cooking Quotes

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.