I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: Funny Quotes

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.

I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for...

I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

First, the baby loves mother's milk; second, he learns of his mother and father; third,...

First, the baby loves mother's milk; second, he learns of his mother and father; third,...

And the prince of the eunuchs said unto Daniel, I fear my lord the king,...

And the prince of the eunuchs said unto Daniel, I fear my lord the king,...