I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: Funny Quotes

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love...

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love...