Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

I drink therefore I am.

I drink therefore I am.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

Surely the hypocrites strive to deceive Allah, and He shall requite their deceit to them,...

Surely the hypocrites strive to deceive Allah, and He shall requite their deceit to them,...

Women have to harness their power - its absolutely true. It's just learning not to...

Women have to harness their power - its absolutely true. It's just learning not to...