Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never give a sucker an even break.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.