Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some...

Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some...

Christmas itself may be called into question, If carried so far it creates indigestion.

Christmas itself may be called into question, If carried so far it creates indigestion.