Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I drink therefore I am.

I drink therefore I am.

And do as adversaries do in law, strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.

And do as adversaries do in law, strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.

Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while...

Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while...