It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...