It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

I drink therefore I am.

I drink therefore I am.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for...

I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for...

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

One who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.

One who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.

Court not the critic's smile nor dread his frown

Court not the critic's smile nor dread his frown