If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.