If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard...

I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard...

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...