If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...