Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.