The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: Life Quotes

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for...

I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for...

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

I can envision a small cottage somewhere, with a lot of writing paper, and a...

I can envision a small cottage somewhere, with a lot of writing paper, and a...

Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there.

Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there.