So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: Death Quotes

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.