Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

Many people have played themselves to death. Many people have eaten and drunk themselves to...

Many people have played themselves to death. Many people have eaten and drunk themselves to...

Death comes to all, but great achievements build a monument which shall endure until the...

Death comes to all, but great achievements build a monument which shall endure until the...

Everything one does in life, even love, occurs in an express train racing toward death....

Everything one does in life, even love, occurs in an express train racing toward death....