Never give a sucker an even break.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said...

So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said...