Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never give a sucker an even break.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.