Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never give a sucker an even break.

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

Of course I don't always enjoy being a mother. At those times my husband and...

Of course I don't always enjoy being a mother. At those times my husband and...

They're sharing a drink they call loneliness But it's better than drinking alone.

They're sharing a drink they call loneliness But it's better than drinking alone.