Never give a sucker an even break.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was...

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...