Never give a sucker an even break.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.