Quotes by Woody Allen

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

#Life

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

#Death

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

#Death

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

#Achievement, #Funny, #Immortality

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

#Death

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

#Death

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

#Advice

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

#Appearance

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

#Food

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

#Failure, #Luck, #Success

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

#Woody Allen

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

#Woody Allen