Quotes by Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

#Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...

#Cheating, #Soul

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

#Cheating, #Infidelity

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

#Comedy, #Happiness, #Love

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

#Comedy

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

#America And Americans, #Crime

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

#Dating

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

#Economy

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

#Eternity

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

#Evil, #God

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

#Food, #Funny

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

#Food