In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Quote by Woody Allen
America And Americans Quotes
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...
I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.