In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: America And Americans Quotes, Television Quotes

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...

A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to...

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to...

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.